Husband Jokes (2)

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"

"There is." he replied, "Breakfast."

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Wives · Husbands · Mistresses · Friends · Golf

Two guys are playing golf. The women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up.

So one man says to his friend, "I'm gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through."

He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his friend asks what happened.

He replies, "One of those women is my wife, and the other is my mistress. Why don't you go talk to them?"

So the second man starts to walk over. He gets halfway there and turns around.

When he gets back, his friend asks, "Now what happened?"

To this he replies, "Small world."

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Idiots · Husbands · Doctors · Pregnancy

A man speaks frantically on phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

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Sex · Husbands · Remotes · Marriages · Dead

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

3 Comments · Details

Husbands · Wives · Space

My husband said he wanted more space.

So I locked him outside.

3 Comments · Details

Husband Jokes

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