65 jokes about husbands
19 blonde jokes
, a brunette
, and a redhead all work for a construction crew. One day, they were on their lunch
break, sitting on a beam thirty stories high. They all note that they've had the same lunch for as long as they were on the job. They agreed if they opened their lunchboxes and found the same lunch, they would all hurl themselves off the beam.
The next day, the police are investigating the scene where the three women
fell. When the police asked the husbands of the women, the brunette and the redhead's husbands both said, "If I had known, I would have given her something different." However, the blonde's husband said, "Don't look at me, she packs her own lunch."
29 sex jokes
A rich Beverly Hills lady got very angry at her French maid
. After a long list of stinging remarks about her shortcomings as a cook and housekeeper, she dismissed the maid.
The maid, with her Gallic ancestry, couldn't allow such abuse to go unanswered. "Your husband considers me a better housekeeper and cook than you, Madam. He has told me himself."
The rich woman
just swallowed and said nothing.
"And furthermore," the angry girl continued, "I am better in bed than you!"
"And I suppose my husband told you that, too?"
"No, Madam," said the maid. "Not your husband ... the mail man!"
17 Adam jokes
are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam
stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve
"You're running around with other women," she charged.
"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.
"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.
"Counting your ribs
19 money jokes
"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge
said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week."
"That's very nice, your honour," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks, myself."
11 sex jokesNext page Jokeshusband sayings
and her husband were participating in a blood
drive, and as part of the prescreening process, an elderly volunteer was asking some questions.
"Have you ever paid for sex
?" the woman asked my friend's husband sweetly.
Glancing wearily over at his wife
who was trying to calm a new baby and tend to several other children
milling around her, "Oh yes", he sighed, "Every time."