A rich Beverly Hills lady got very angry at her French maid. After a long list of stinging remarks about her shortcomings as a cook and housekeeper, she dismissed the maid.26 Sex Jokes
The maid, with her Gallic ancestry, couldn't allow such abuse to go unanswered. "Your husband considers me a better housekeeper and cook than you, Madam. He has told me himself."
The rich woman just swallowed and said nothing.
"And furthermore," the angry girl continued, "I am better in bed than you!"
"And I suppose my husband told you that, too?"
"No, Madam," said the maid. "Not your husband ... the mail man!"
A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"29 Tit Jokes
The woman looked puzzled. "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked.
"Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere"
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work for a construction crew. One day, they were on their lunch break, sitting on a beam thirty stories high. They all note that they've had the same lunch for as long as they were on the job. They agreed if they opened their lunchboxes and found the same lunch, they would all hurl themselves off the beam.19 Blonde Jokes
The next day, the police are investigating the scene where the three women fell. When the police asked the husbands of the women, the brunette and the redhead's husbands both said, "If I had known, I would have given her something different." However, the blonde's husband said, "Don't look at me, she packs her own lunch."
The man tells his doctor that his wife hasn't wanted to have sex with him for the past 7 months. The physician tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her.32 Sex Jokes
When the wife comes to office, the doctor asks her why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband any more.
"For the last 7 months," the wife replies, "every morning I take a cab to work. I don't make much money and my husband doesn't give more than bus fare, so the cab driver always asks me, 'So are you going to pay today or what?' I always give him an 'or what'. That makes me late to work I'm late, so the boss asks me, 'So are we going to dock your salary, or what?' That's another 'or what.' On the way home, I take the cab and again I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me, 'So are you going to pay this time or what?' And, again, I do an 'or what'. So you see, Doctor, when I get home I'm all tired out and I don't want sex any more."
The doctor thinks for a second. "So," he says, "are we going to tell your husband or what?"
"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week."17 Money JokesNext page JokesHusband Sayings
"That's very nice, your honour," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks, myself."