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Husband jokes

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A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck."

38     coma jokes


How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

13     e-mail jokes


Nina and Rosie were always trying to get the other's goat and today they were meeting for lunch.

Nina noticed that Rosie was walking stiffly and asked what the problem was.

Rosie replied, "Oh nothing. It's just that my husband is so big I just can't take it."

Nina replied, "I know, I know."

39     sex jokes


"Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Jane's best friend.

"Why shouldn't I?" said Jane.

"Well, maybe he is having an affair?"

"No way" said Jane "he never returns with any fish..."

31     fishing jokes


A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head.

"I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name 'Marylou' written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have an explanation."

"Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on."

The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again.

"What was that for?" he complained.

"Your dog called last night."

36     dog jokes






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