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Husband jokes

54 jokes about husbands



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What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?

Miss her. Pity her.

30     → Joke


I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"

44     → Joke


A man speaks frantically on phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

55     → Joke


How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

11     → Joke


How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

51     → Joke


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