65 jokes about husbands
4 wife jokes
Why do wives
use twice as many words as their husbands?
Because they have to repeat everything they say.
17 stress jokes
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife
into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress
disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him."
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
10 prescription jokes
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist
, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide
The pharmacist asked: "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied: "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law? I'll lose my licence! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You cannot have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture
of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied: "You didn't tell me you had a prescription
2 keeping jokes
What is the best revenge
when another woman
steals your husband?
Let her keep him.
2 businessman jokes Jokeshusband sayings
US Airways recently introduced a special half fare for wives
who accompanied their husbands on business trips
Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen
who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.
Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"