23 jokes about hospitals
In a train
compartment, there are 3 men
and a ravishing young girl
. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs."
The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck
out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls up her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll show you my thighs,".
And men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full. Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats. Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis."
All three fork over the money
. The girl then turned to the window and points outside at a building they're passing. "See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!"
Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse
took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist
in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor
, you must help me", she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating
him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."
"I see", nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter".
"No!" exclaimed the nurse. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!"
A man lying on a nude beach noticed a little girl eyeballing his private bits as she approached, so he covered them with a newspaper.3
When the little girl was close enough, she asked the man what he was hiding under the newspaper, to which he replied, "it's just my little bird."
The little girl asked if she could see the little bird, to which the man replied that she could not, because it was resting.
The man eventually fell asleep, forgetting about the incident.
A while later, the man woke up in a hospital bed, in AGONY, and cried out, "what HAPPENED???"
Just then, the little girl stepped in and said, "I tried to play with your little bird, but it SPIT at me, so I broke its neck, crushed its eggs, and burned its nest..." ~ Dreisdale
A woman goes to the hospital, and her doctor gives her a sonogram
He sees the baby
and suddenly the baby says: "Are you my daddy?"
The doctor is shocked and goes to get another doctor, who looks at the sonogram.
The baby says again: "Are you my daddy?"
The doctor says: "No, I'm not your father
They go to get the dad, the father looks at his baby boy and the baby asked: "Are you my daddy?"
And the father says: "Yes, I am!"
So, the baby pops out of the mother's womb, picks up his hand, and starts poking the father in the head while saying: "How do you like that?! How do you like that?!"
An earthquake has struck the maternity hospital. Three people where killed, however six people where born.1