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Hose jokes

34 jokes about hoses



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A mathematician and a physicist were asked the following question: Suppose you walked by a burning house and saw a hydrant and a hose not connected to the hydrant. What would you do?

P: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water, and put out the fire.
M: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water, and put out the fire.

Then they were asked this question: Suppose you walked by a house and saw a hose connected to a hydrant. What would you do?

P: I would keep walking, as there is no problem to solve.
M: I would disconnect the hose from the hydrant and set the house on fire, reducing the problem to a previously solved form.

16     mathematician jokes


Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table.

Father, "Can you please pray for dinner!"

Little Johnny, "Dear God. Please, please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Dad’s computer. Amen!"

22     Little Johnny jokes


Father and son in supermarket.

"Dad, what are these?"

"That's a 3pack of condoms son for secondary school lads. 1 for Friday night, 1 for Saturday night and 1 for Sunday night."

"What about the 6pack dad?"

"Those are for University lads. 2 for Friday night, 2 for Satuday night and 2 for Sunday night."

"Well dad, what about the 12pack then?"

"Married men son. 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March ..."

48     sex jokes


There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didn't know what Johnny's problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him. They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel ... they said, because it was bigger.

One day after Little Johnny grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"

Slowly, Little Johnny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face and he said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I have saved $20!"

48     money jokes


Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer works.

Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works.

DOS is for those who want to know why their computer doesn't work.

Windows is for those who don't want to know why their computer doesn't work.

27     windows jokes




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