7 jokes about horns
0 cow jokes
Why do cows
Because their horns don't work.
50 sex jokes
Pete and Mary were walking home from the pub
when Mary says: "I need a piss" an goes behind a bush and drops her knickers.
Feeling horny, Pete puts his hand through the bush and feels something dangling between Mary's legs. He says "have you changed sex
Mary says "no, I have changed my mind, I am having a shit
32 dog jokes
One day, a blind
man and his dog
are walking down a street, they come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic
zooming by on the street, leads the blind man out into the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.
The blind man and his dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie
out of his coat pocket, and offers it to the dog.
A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"
The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass
19 devil jokesProposal
A woman whose husband
often came home drunk
decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween
night, she put on a devil
suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"I'm the Devil," she responded.
"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister
A man stumbles out of a bar. The police car over the road watches as he sluggishly moved across the car park after much effort finds his truck and falls in. Several other people came out got into their cars and drove away. The man slumps on his horn setting off his lights. The last of the people left the car park leaving the truck only. He starts the truck up and starts to pull away. He is immediately stopped. After breatherlyser he was found to have no alcohol in his system. ‘You will have to come down the station as this is obviously broke’ says policeman. ‘Doubt it sir’ says the man. 3 Short jokesNext page Jokes
‘Why’s that ?’ Says policeman.
The man replies ‘I’m the designated decoy’