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An Alcoholic, a Chain Smoker and a Homosexual go to the doctor.

The doctor says: "If any of you indulge one more time you'll die."

As they walk home they pass a bar. The Alcoholic has a shot of whiskey, falls off his stool stone cold dead. His friends are shocked.

As they walk along they come upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground still burning. The Homosexual looks at the Chain Smoker and says: "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead!"

31     Smoking Jokes


Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?

They already have boyfriends.

43     Man Jokes


10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date.
20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place.
36% of the women favour nudity.
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes.
46% of the women experienced anal sex.
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning.
80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations.
90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest.
99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.

Conclusion:

Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.

Moral:

Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!

27     Sex Jokes


Proposal

A Chinese Homosexual Jewish man walks to a bar. He says to bartender
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Shit's be rough
Bartender: Shit??
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Me asian. I eat shit by the way, as I am a homosexual.
Bartender: Wow, cool!

Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man leaves bar without paying because he's a stingy Jew.
He comes back the next day.

Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: I control the world. By the way, any Cocker Spaniels for this Rothschild?
Bartender: No
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Me eat dog and read torah.
Bartender: Wow

Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man leaves the bar without paying because he's a stingy Jew.

Corpse of Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man arrives next day.

Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Can me have whisky, me son happens to be gay.
Bartender: ok

Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man leaves the bar and gets in his car before driving off and crashing into a lightpole and dying.     ~ Bill Gates Son

0     Short jokes





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