58 jokes about holes
42 → Joke
This Scottish farmer
walks into the neighborhood pub
, and orders a whiskey
"Ye see that fence over there?" he says to the bartender. "Ah built it with me own two hands! Dug up the holes with me shovel, chopped doon the trees for the posts by me ownself, laid every last rail! But do they call me 'McGregor the Fence-Builder?' No..."
He gulps down the whiskey and orders another. "Ye see that pier on the loch?" He continues, "Ah built it me ownself, too. Swam oot into the loch to lay the foondations, laid doon every single board! But do they call me 'McGregor the Pier-Builder?' No."
"But ye fuck
17 → Joke
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write
stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft
, writing error messages.
40 → Joke39 → Joke
is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer
tucked behind his ear.
He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear?
In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims: "Damn, some asshole has my pen
36 → Joke
had just been laid off from work
. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge
getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing
all around on the river bank below.
He thought, "Life isn't so bad after all," and got off the railing.
He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life.
"Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."
"Dancing? I'm not dancing!" the armless man replied bitterly ... "My asshole
itches, and I can't scratch
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