62 jokes about holes
20 → Joke
Remember, when someone annoys
you, it takes 42 muscles
in your face to frown, but it only takes four muscles to extend your arm and smack
the asshole in the head.
55 → Joke
A young boy and his grandfather
one afternoon, after a couple of hours of fishing, the grandfather opened a can of beer
, the grandson
noticed and asked, "Grandpa, can I have a sip of your beer?" His grandfather looked at him and said, "Grandson, Is your penis
long enough to touch your ass?" The grandson replied, "No!"
"Then you're not old enough.", said the grandfather.
A couple of more hours went by, and the grandfather lit a cigarette. Again the grandson noticed and asked, "Grandpa, can I have a cigarette"? The grandfather replied, "Is your penis long enough to touch your asshole?" Again the grandson replied, "No!"
"Well you're not big enough to smoke
yet.", said the grandfather.
About an hour had passed and it began to get late, so the grandfather decided to pack it up and head for home. On their way home they stopped at a store, grandpa bought two lottery tickets and gave his grandson one. Grandpa scratched his off, but didn't win anything, The grandson scratched his off and won $10,000. Grandpa was all happy and surprised that his grandson had won and he asked, "Are you going to give some of that money to grandpa?" The boy looked at him and replied, "Grandpa, is your penis big enough to touch your ass?" Grandpa looked at him for a moment, then replied, "YES!"
"Good, then go fuck
yourself!", said the grandson.
55 → Joke47 → JokeProposal
Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics
Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism
. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government
. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?"
Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."
That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.
The next morning he reported to his father.
Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."
Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"
Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit
Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning the Father's room the other day, and I found a bunch of pornographic magazines."9 → Joke
"What did you do?" the second nun asked.
"I threw them in the trash, of course."
"Well," said the second nun, "I was in the Father's room putting away laundry and found a bunch of condoms."
"What did you do?" the first nun asked.
"I poked holes in them."
"Oh, crap," said the third nun.