58 jokes about hell
32 ass jokes
One day a man went into a restaurant
and ordered a bowl of soup
. The waitress
brought his order out to him on a tray with her middle finger immersed in the middle of his soup bowl.
"What the hell's the idea of putting your finger in my soup bowl?" the man bellowed at the waitress.
"My doctor said the best thing for my rheumatism
was to keep my finger pressed in a warm damp place," the waitress informed him.
"Oh yeah," the man shouted, "then why don't you take that finger of yours and shove it up your fat ass
"I'm sorry sir the waitress replied, but I already tried that before I brought your soup out."
26 cop jokes
After an intense high speed chase, an officer finally gets the lawbreaker to pull over.
"You know," says the cop
, "I was originally pulling you over to tell you your taillight is out. Why the hell did you take off like that?"
"Last week my wife
ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
30 mechanic jokes6 bee jokes
along the expressway listening to the radio when she hears a song
she really, really likes. When the song is over the announcer says the title of the record was, "Hot Lips and Tender Kisses
When she gets home she's very excited about the new song and decides to call her local music
store to see if they have the record. Hurriedly, and excitedly, she dials the store's number. But in her excitement, she unknowingly misdialed and got an auto repair shop instead.
"Hello," the mechanic
"Oh, yes! Do you have Hot Lips and Tender Kisses?" the girl asks.
The mechanic was puzzled, but says, "Well, no, but I've got hot pants and seven inches."
"Oh, is that a record?" she says.
"No," he says, "but it's better than average."
Tarzan16 tarzan jokesNext page Jokeshell sayings
had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 25 years with only suitably shaped holes in trees for sex
, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure.
One day, deep in the wilds, she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting himself into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for awhile.
Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion, Jane came out in to the open and offered herself to him.
As she reclined on the wild grass, Tarzan became aroused. He quickly ran over and kicked her in the crotch really hard.
In pain, she screamed, "What the hell did you do that for?".
Tarzan replied, "Tarzan always check for squirrels