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Proposal

Yo momma's so fat when she bungee jumped she went straight to Hell!

2     Short jokes


Proposal

Three tampons are walking down the street, there names are normal, extra protection and maxi. which one says hello none because they're all stuck up bitches.

8     Short jokes


Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say: ''It could have been worse.'' His friends hated that quality about him, so they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side. So the next day, only two of his friends showed up for a golf date.

Joe asked: ''Where's Gary?''

And one of his friends said: ''Didn't you hear? Yesterday, Gary found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself.''

Joe says: ''Well it could have been worse.''

Both his friends said: ''How in hell could it be worse? Your best friend just killed himself!''

Joe says: ''If it had happened two days ago, I would be dead now!"

45     sex jokes


What is the difference between girls / women aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78?

At 8: You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18: You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28: You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38: She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48: She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58: You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68: If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!
At 78: What story? What bed? Who the hell are you?

13     story jokes


A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can't find the rake. He yells up to his wife, "Where is the rake?"

She can't hear him and shouts back, "What?" The man first points to his eye, then points to his knee and finally makes a raking motion. The wife is not sure and says, "What?" The man repeats his gestures, mouthing "EYE KNEE - THE RAKE."

The wife replies that she understands and signals back. She first points to her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her butt, and finally to her crotch.

Well, there is no way in hell the man can even come close on that one. Exasperated, he goes upstairs and asks her "What in the heck was that?"

She replies, "EYE - LEFT TIT - BEHIND - THE BUSH"

43     wife jokes






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