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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

1) A roomful - they have to hold a meeting to discuss all the ramifications of the change.

2) None, they like to keep employees in the dark.

3) "This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile ..."

4) "We've formed a task-force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and to figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder."

21     manager jokes


What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and your mother-in-law?

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth and your mother-in-law doesn't know the difference.

4     mother-in-law jokes


A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"

The Irishman replies, "Oh ... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."

15     texan jokes


3 mice in a pub having a heavy discussing who's the hardest.

The first mouse says: "I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down I benchpress it 30 times and throw it across the room!"

The second mouse says: "You poof I get rat poison crush it into a powder and snort it!"

The third mouse finishes his drink gets up and walks to the door.

"Where are you going?" ask the other two mice.

"Home to fuck the cat!"

3     mouse jokes


Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?

He was trying to get in touch with Private Data but if it involves a Major Disaster I understand that the fault lies with General Protection.

Furthermore, if you cannot reboot it may be because of a corrupt Colonel.

9     computer jokes






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