Hard - 43 jokes
10 → Joke
There was a boy
who had to use an outhouse
and he hated it sooo bad. One day it started to rain really hard and it got the bank all slippery and wet so he decided to push it off. He did it and later that night his father
asked him if he pushed off the outhouse.
He said: "Yes."
His father told his son to come with him to get his whipping.
The boy said: "George Washington didn't get in trouble when he chopped down the cherry tree because he was honest."
The boys father said: "but George Washingtons father wasn't in the cherry tree when he chopped it down."
11 → Joke
A young blind
boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy
, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish
will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep.
The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
8 → Joke
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves
would strike the right note: romantic but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom's and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties
for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:
"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I were there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year!
All my love.
P. S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."
7 → Joke
How many software engineers
does it take to change a light bulb?
1) None. real computer
geeks prefer LEDs.
2) None. It's a hardware problem!
3) Just one. But the house falls down.
4) Two. One resigns halfway through the project.
5) 10. One to change the bulb and one to explain binary.
6) Is this a dynamically allocated light bulb?
9 → Joke
What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last big hit
was The Wall
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