Hard - 43 jokes
23 → Joke
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde
came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox
. She opened it then closed and went back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again and went to the mail
box. She opened and shut it again. Angrily, she went back to the house.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her: "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied: "There certainly is! My stupid computer
keeps saying: 'You've got mail!'"
21 → Joke
charged with assault
and battery insisted at his trial
that he had just pushed his victim "a little bit". When he was pressured by the prosecutor
to illustrate just how hard, the defendant approached the lawyer
, slapped him in the face, grabbed him firmly by the lapels and flung him over the table.
He then faced judge
and jury and calmly declared, "I would say it was about one-tenth that hard."
29 → Joke
comes into a hardware
"May I help you ma'am?"
"Yes, please, I need a three inch door
"Do you wanna screw for it?"
"No thanks," she responds, "but I'll blow you for that clock radio over there."
Tarzan14 → Joke
had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 25 years with only suitably shaped holes in trees for sex
, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure.
One day, deep in the wilds, she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting himself into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for awhile.
Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion, Jane came out in to the open and offered herself to him.
As she reclined on the wild grass, Tarzan became aroused. He quickly ran over and kicked her in the crotch really hard.
In pain, she screamed, "What the hell did you do that for?".
Tarzan replied, "Tarzan always check for squirrels
Teacher5 → Joke
: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4?"
: "That's not fair you answer
the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!"
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