117 jokes about hands24
A young man
was hired by a supermarket
and reported for his first day of work
. The manager
greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, then gave him a broom
"Son, your first job
will be to sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college
graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom -- I'll show you how."
told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying
. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters
. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
Teacher: "I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting and you've only done it 7 times?"5
Little Johnny: "Looks like my counting isn't too good either!"
The new priest
is nervous about hearing confessions
, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this.
The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see, yes, go on', and "I understand. How did you feel about that?" The new priest says those things.
The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying 'No shit
?!? What happened next?"