Three men were standing side-by-side using the urinal
The first man finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands ... clear up to his elbows ... He used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented: "I graduated from Harvard and they taught us to be clean."
The second man finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented: "I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."
The third man zipped up and as he was walking out the door he had a smirk on his face and said: "I don't know about you guys, but where I went to college
, they taught us not to piss
on our hands."
as I was buttoning my shirt, a button
fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle
fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee
A lonely woman
, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair. The old
woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you ... you have no legs!" The old man
smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"
She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!" Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"