, known for his lengthy sermons
, noticed a man
get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone.
"I went to get a haircut
," was the reply.
"But," said the pastor, "why didn't you do that before the service?"
"Because," the gentleman said, "I didn't need one then."
A man said to his wife, "I have to show the grey hair on my chest to get my pension."4
The wife said: "You should have shown your cock, we could have got disability allowance!"
How do you teach a blonde maths
Add a bed, subtract her knickers, divide her legs, enter your square root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't multiply!
A little girl
goes to the barbers
with her dad and stands next to the chair eating a muffin while her dad gets a haircut
The barber smiles at her and says: "Your gonna get hair on your muffin!"
"I know" she says "im gonna get tits
too you dirty old bastard!"