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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can.

He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!".

After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"

3    


Proposal

One little girl takes a shower with her nan, points down and asked: "What's that?"

Nan says: "That's my beaver."

The next day the girl went to shower with her mum and points down and says: "I know what that is, it's your beaver."

Mum replies: "Oh yeah how do you know that?"

"Nan told me, but I think hers is dead because it's tongue is hanging out!"

0    


How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

64    

businessman:2

What's green, slimy and smells like Miss Piggy?

Kermit's Finger.

14    


How many babysitters does it take to change a light bulb?

Are you joking? They can't even change a dirty diaper!

11    

light bulb

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