A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa"31 Tit Jokes
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big tits."
"Mommy, Mommy, I want to play with Grandpa now!"7 Mommy Mommy Jokes
"Keep quiet, the coffin stays closed today!"
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"9 Kiss Jokes
"Only one kiss per yard," replied the smirking male clerk.
"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.
Johnny asks his grandpa, "do you still have sex with granny?"46 Sex Jokes
Grandpa says, "Yes, but only oral."
Johnny asks, "What is oral?"
Grandpa says, "I say fuck you, she says fuck you, too."
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"24 Baby Jokes
Slim says: "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really? Like a newborn baby?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."