Golf jokes
33 jokes about golf
Golf balls are like eggs.
They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And a week later you have to buy more.
They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And a week later you have to buy more.
2
golf ball jokesIt's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
0
golfer jokesProposal
Nathan goes to see his doctor. After a lengthy examination the doctor sighs, and says, "I've some bad news for you, Nathan. You have an incurable cancer. I suggest you quickly put your affairs in order." Nathan is initially shocked, but then, being a calm, solid character, he composes himself and quietly leaves the doctor's office. His son Max is waiting for him.
"Max," says Nathan, "we celebrate when things are good and we sometimes celebrate when things are not so good. In my case, Max, things aren't so good - I have cancer, so I suggest we go to my golf club for a few drinks." 4 or 5 glasses of whisky later, the two are feeling a little less sad. Then, after a few laughs and some more glasses of whisky, they are approached by two of Nathan's club mates, curious as to what Nathan and Max are celebrating.
Nathan tells them, "Guys, we're drinking to my impending death. I've been diagnosed with AIDS." His club mates are shocked. They give Nathan their condolences, have a couple of beers and leave. Max then says, "Dad, you tell me you're dying of cancer yet you tell your friends you're dying of AIDS. I don't understand."
Nathan replies, "I don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after I'm gone."
"Max," says Nathan, "we celebrate when things are good and we sometimes celebrate when things are not so good. In my case, Max, things aren't so good - I have cancer, so I suggest we go to my golf club for a few drinks." 4 or 5 glasses of whisky later, the two are feeling a little less sad. Then, after a few laughs and some more glasses of whisky, they are approached by two of Nathan's club mates, curious as to what Nathan and Max are celebrating.
Nathan tells them, "Guys, we're drinking to my impending death. I've been diagnosed with AIDS." His club mates are shocked. They give Nathan their condolences, have a couple of beers and leave. Max then says, "Dad, you tell me you're dying of cancer yet you tell your friends you're dying of AIDS. I don't understand."
Nathan replies, "I don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after I'm gone."
12
Short jokesTwo political candidates were having a hot debate.
Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other: "What about the powerful interest that controls you?"
And the other guy screamed back: "You leave my wife out of this!"
Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other: "What about the powerful interest that controls you?"
And the other guy screamed back: "You leave my wife out of this!"
4
politician jokesProposal
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was uncomfortable with the women's type I had been playing with.
After turning for several minutes, a good looking gentleman working in the store approached me.
He asked if he could help me.
Without giving it a thought, I looked at him and said: "I think I like playing with men's balls!"
I was uncomfortable with the women's type I had been playing with.
After turning for several minutes, a good looking gentleman working in the store approached me.
He asked if he could help me.
Without giving it a thought, I looked at him and said: "I think I like playing with men's balls!"
4
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