A guy and a nun go golfing. The guy hits his ball into the water. He says "Damn! I missed!" The nun replies "Don't swear. God can hear you." So the guy is like "Whatever".15 God Jokes
He hits the ball again. It goes into the trees. "Damn! I missed!" "Don't swear, God can hear you!" "Whatever"
So, he hits his ball once again, but it only goes about 4 yards. "AARRRGH!!!! SHIT!!!!"
Ok, so about now, God gets mad. He throws down a thunderbolt. It hits the nun.
"Damn! I missed!"
Whats the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?21 Skydiver Jokes
A bad golfer goes: WHACK ... "Damn"! A bad Skydiver goes: "Damn"! ... WHACK.
A Rabbi who was late for a golf game was rather short tempered with several people whose phone calls kept delaying him.17 Circumcision Jokes
The next day his secretary said "Rabbi, several members of the congregation were really upset with you when you cut them short yesterday."
At that point, a man who had been sitting within earshot in the reception room got up and departed hurriedly.
"Who was that?" asked the Rabbi.
"Oh, that was Mr. Ruthenberg." she answered. "He wanted to speak to you about a circumcision for his son."
Two ants were in a sand trap watching a duffer flailing away.4 Ant Jokes
"Quick," said the one ant to the other. "Get on the ball before he kills us."
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.22 Engineer JokesNext page Jokes
Engineer: "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
Doctor: "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
Pastor: "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause] "Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
George: "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
Pastor: "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
Doctor: "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
Engineer: "Why can't these guys play at night?"