80 jokes about gods
Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'?13 → Joke
The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her."18 → JokeProposal
Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that Was enjoyable."
And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve." And Adam said, "What is a caress'? So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.
Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss." And the Lord said, "You've done well, Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve." And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"' So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds.
And Adam said, "Lord, what is a headache?"
Why did God create man before woman?2 → JokeProposal
He didn't want any advice!
A young boy asks his dad: "What's the difference between theorectically and realistically?"7 → JokeProposal
"Well son, go and ask your mother if she would sleep with the postman for $1million ..."
The little boy asks his mum and then goes back to his dad: "She said yes ..."
"Now go and ask your sister if she would sleep with the milkman for $2million ..."
The little boy asks his sister: "She said yes, but whats the difference between theoretically and realistically?"
"Well son, theorectically we are sitting on $3million ... realistically we are living with a couple of slags!"
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I should take her somewhere expensive.2 → Joke
I took her to a petrol station!
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