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God jokes

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How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Amish don't believe in light bulbs. God will provide light unto the world.

11     → Joke


What did God say after she made Eve?

Practice makes perfect.

9     → Joke


A man got 2 wishes from god. He asked for the best wine and best woman.

Next moment, he had the best wine and Mother Theresa next to him.

Moral: Be Specific.

30     → Joke


The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

28     → Joke


One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."

He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."

He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."

He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"

"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."

14     → Joke



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