In church, a pastor was leading the house in prayer. He said, "God, please protect your believers, and deliver us from sin."23 Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris stood up and said, "What have you done for me lately?"
A man got 2 wishes from god. He asked for the best wine and best woman.32 Wish Jokes
Next moment, he had the best wine and Mother Theresa next to him.
Moral: Be Specific.
What did God say after she made Eve?12 Eve Jokes
Practice makes perfect.
The Pope arrives in heaven, where St. Peter awaites him. St. Peter asks who he is.32 Jesus Jokes
The Pope: "I am the pope."
St. Peter: "Who? There's no such name in my book."
The Pope: "I'm the representative of God on Earth."
St.Peter: "Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me ..."
The Pope: "But I am the leader of the Catholic Church ..."
St. Peter: "The Catholic church ... Never heard of it ... Wait, I'll check with the boss."
St. Peter walks away through Heaven's Gate to talk with God.
St. Peter: "There's a dude standing outside who claims he's your representative on earth."
God: "I don't have a representative on earth, not that I know of ... Wait, I'll ask Jesus." (yells for Jesus)
Jesus: "Yes father, what's up?"
God and St. Peter explain the situation.
Jesus: "Wait, I'll go outside and have a little chat with that fellow."
Ten minutes pass and Jesus reenters the room laughing out loud. After a few minutes St. Peter asks Jesus why he's laughing.
Jesus: "Remember that fishing club I've started 2000 years ago? It still exists!"
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."17 Fish JokesNext page JokesGod Sayings
He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"
"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."