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Glass jokes

20 jokes about glasses



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Why did the blonde climb over a glass wall?

To see what was on the other side.

43     → Joke


A guy walks into a bar.

Guy: "Hey, barkeeper, give me a beer."

Barkeeper: "Tell you what, if you can make that horse out there laugh, I will give you a free beer and $500."

So the guy walks outside and whispers to the horse. The horse laughs. The guy walks back in.

Guy: "Where's my $500 and free beer?"

Barkeeper: "Alright, double or nothing says you can't make that horse cry."

The guy walks outside again. The barkeep chuckles to himself as he's cleaning a glass and misses what the guy does, but he hears the horse crying. The guy comes back in.

Guy: "Alright, where's my $1000 and two free beers?"

Barkeeper: "What did you say to make the horse laugh?"

Guy : "I told him I have a bigger penis than him."

Barkeeper: "What did you do to make him cry?"

Guy: "I showed him."

64     → Joke


Vacationing in Hawaii, two priests decide to wear casual clothes so they won't be identified as clergy. They buy Hawaiian shirts and sandals, and soon head for the beach.

They notice a gorgeous blond in a tiny bikini. "Good afternoon, Fathers" she says as she strolls by.

The men are stunned. How does she know they are clergy? Later that day, they buy even wilder attire consisting of surfer shorts, tie dyed T-shirts, and dark glasses.

The next day, they return to the beach. The same fabulous blond, now wearing a string bikini, passes by, nods politely at them and says, "Good morning Fathers."

"Just a minute young lady.", says one of the priests. "We are priests and proud of it, but how in the world did you know?"

The blonde replies, "Don't you recognize me? I'm sister Katherine from the convent."

46     → Joke


A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

His wife asks, "What's that for?" "It's for your headache." "I don't have a headache."

He replies, "Gotcha!"

25     → Joke


Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender.

"I'll have a glass of blood," said one.

"I'll have a glass of plasma," said the other.

"Okay," replied the bartender, "That'll be one blood and one blood lite."

23     → Joke


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