18 jokes about glasses
42 → Joke
Why did the blonde
climb over a glass wall
To see what was on the other side.
55 → Joke
A guy walks into a bar
Guy: "Hey, barkeeper
, give me a beer
Barkeeper: "Tell you what, if you can make that horse
out there laugh, I will give you a free beer and $500."
So the guy walks outside and whispers to the horse. The horse laughs. The guy walks back in.
Guy: "Where's my $500 and free beer?"
Barkeeper: "Alright, double or nothing says you can't make that horse cry."
The guy walks outside again. The barkeep chuckles to himself as he's cleaning a glass and misses what the guy does, but he hears the horse crying. The guy comes back in.
Guy: "Alright, where's my $1000 and two free beers?"
Barkeeper: "What did you say to make the horse laugh?"
Guy : "I told him I have a bigger penis
Barkeeper: "What did you do to make him cry?"
Guy: "I showed him."
38 → Joke
Vacationing in Hawaii
, two priests
decide to wear casual clothes
so they won't be identified as clergy. They buy Hawaiian shirts and sandals, and soon head for the beach
They notice a gorgeous blond
in a tiny bikini
. "Good afternoon, Fathers" she says as she strolls by.
The men are stunned. How does she know they are clergy? Later that day, they buy even wilder attire consisting of surfer shorts, tie dyed T-shirts, and dark glasses.
The next day, they return to the beach. The same fabulous blond, now wearing a string bikini, passes by, nods politely at them and says, "Good morning Fathers."
"Just a minute young lady.", says one of the priests. "We are priests and proud of it, but how in the world did you know?"
The blonde replies, "Don't you recognize me? I'm sister
Katherine from the convent."
28 → Joke
walked into a bar
and called for the bartender
"I'll have a glass of blood
," said one.
"I'll have a glass of plasma
," said the other.
"Okay," replied the bartender, "That'll be one blood and one blood lite."
18 → JokeNext page Back to home
One day at a busy airport, the passengers
on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot
to show up so they can get under way.
The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind
; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.
At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane
begins moving down the runway.
The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.
Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.
When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.
Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!"