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Girl jokes

96 jokes about girls


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How do men exercise on the beach?

By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini.

32    

man,hiking

Mom took Little Johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis.

Doctor: "How did such a thing happen?"

Johnny: "It's that damn neighbor girl, Susie. Her braces are too darned sharp."

87    

boy,soapbox

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said: "Let's talk, I am sure that flights are faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and asked the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know", said the stranger.

"How about nuclear power?" The girl asked.

"Ok," he said "That could be an interesting topic!"

The girl continues: "But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"The stranger thinks about it and says:"Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies:"Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

52    


Proposal

A man said to his wife, "I have to show the grey hair on my chest to get my pension."

The wife said: "You should have shown your cock, we could have got disability allowance!"

4    


woman,watering
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetary back to the car, the little girl asked: "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

5    


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