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George had responded to a call from his lawyer, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer's firm, and was ushered into his office.

"Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked.

"Well, if those are my choices, I guess I'll take the bad news first."

"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."

"That's the bad news?" George was stunned? "If you call that bad, I can't wait to hear the terrible news."

"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."

34     lawyer jokes


What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven?

A microwave stops when you open the door.

18     George Michael jokes


Little Johnny came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"

His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."

"Gee Dad that's great," said Little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"

"What do you mean?" said Dad.

"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming,"Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming"If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"

50     sex jokes


Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: "Save the women!"

George W. Bush hysterically hollers: "Screw the women!"

Bill Clinton's asks excitedly: "Do we have time?

40     sex jokes


Father: "How did you do in your tests?"

Son: "I did what George Washington did!"

Father: "What was that?"

Son: "Went down in history!"

8     George Washington jokes




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