Fuck - 79 jokes
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar
talking about their lives.
The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE
. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."
What happened when the gay
guy put a nicotine patch on his dick
He went down to two butts
This Scottish farmer
walks into the neighborhood pub
, and orders a whiskey
"Ye see that fence over there?" he says to the bartender. "Ah built it with me own two hands! Dug up the holes with me shovel, chopped doon the trees for the posts by me ownself, laid every last rail! But do they call me 'McGregor the Fence-Builder?' No..."
He gulps down the whiskey and orders another. "Ye see that pier on the loch?" He continues, "Ah built it me ownself, too. Swam oot into the loch to lay the foondations, laid doon every single board! But do they call me 'McGregor the Pier-Builder?' No."
"But ye fuck ONE sheep
There was a prostitute
on the beach
without any arms or legs, and crying
. A man
came along and asked her what the matter was. She tells him that she has not been hugged before, so he picks her up and hugs
The next day she is still there crying, the same man comes along and asks her what the matter is. She tells him that she has not been kissed before, so he picks her up and kisses her.
The next day she's still there crying, and same man comes along again. He asks her sternly what the matter is and she tells him that she has not been fucked
before. So the man picks her up, walks to the end of the pier, and throws her in the sea and says: "Now you're fucked."
Yo momma is so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super-Bowl.0
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