Fuck - 77 jokes
36 sex jokes
. He decides to stop and ask for directions at a farm
Before he knocks on the door, he saw in the window an old, naked couple
. The wife was pulling her breasts, and the husband was jerking off. Horrified, the man runs across the street to another house.
The homeowner tells the man, "They're deaf
. She's saying 'Milk the cows,' and he's saying 'Go fuck yourself.'"
43 parrot jokes
goes to buy a Parrot
. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?
"Because he used to live in a brothel
" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.
When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.
When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laughs too.
When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"
56 sex jokes
One day, while relieving himself in the employee restroom, Carl could not help but notice the unusually long penis
on the black man in the adjoining urinal. "How do you guys do that?" asked Carl. "I mean, get such long dicks
?" "Well," replied the black man, "when having sex
, just push it in slow and pull it out quick. That exercises it."
After hearing this, Carl promised himself that he would try out this new dick-stretching technique on his wife. That night, Carl made love to his wife and tried the new method. Shortly after they finished, Carl asked, "Well dear, did you notice anything different about me?"
"Yeah," said the wife. "You fuck like a black man!"
34 sex jokes57 gay jokesNext page Jokes
There are four kinds of sex
HOUSE SEX: You and your spouse are newlyweds and you fuck all over the house.BEDROOM
SEX: You and your spouse have been married for a few years, have settled down, and only fuck in the bedroom.
HALL SEX: You and your spouse have been married for fifteen years and say, "Fuck you!" when you pass in the hall.
COURTROOM SEX: You and your spouse have been married for twenty years, your spouse's lawyer
fucks you out of everything you've got.