Fuck - 80 jokes
Construction21 construction jokes
worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw
. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says: "What the fuck is your problem! I said I needed a hand saw!"
The other guy says: "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming
19 prime minister jokesProposal
Gordon Brown was lookin for a lady of the night. He found a girl in a local pub. He said: "I'm Prime minister of England, how much would it cost me to spend time with you ...?"
Her reply: "Mr prime minister, if you can get my skirt as high as my taxes
, my pants as low as my wages, your dick as hard as the times we're living in and keep it rising like the price of petrol and screw me the way you have the pensioners - then it won't cost a fucking penny!"
Jake was dying. His wife Becky was by his bedside.7 Short jokes
"Becky", he said in a tired voice, "there's something I must confess."
"Shhh, there's nothing to confess, everything's alright" replied Becky.
"No, I must die in peace ... I shagged your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your mother"
"I know" whispered Becky, "that's why I poisoned you, you fucking bastard!"
Italian: "When I finish making love to my girlfriend I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees and she floats 6 inches above the bed in extasy!"12 english jokes
Frenchman: "Zat is nothing, when I finish wit ze girl ah kiss her all ze way down her body and zen lick ze soles of her feet and she floats 10 inches above ze bed in extasy."
Englishman: "When I'm finished shaggin me bird I wipe me knob on the curtains and she hits the fucking roof!"
27 brick jokesNext page Jokes
A bunch of guy's were working on a 50 story construction
site, a guy working at the top accidently knocked a brick
off the 50th story. When looking down he saw that his boss
was in line for the brick to land on his noggin and briskly yelled, "Falling Brick". The boss looked up after hearing the yell and moved to one side as the brick crashed to the ground.
The boss looked up at the worker and yelled, "A $100 bonus
for you lady."
Another guy working a floor below had observed what went down with the brick and decided he'd have a go for a $100 bonus, the problem was he was a bit of a stutterer, as he kicked the brick off the side of the building he looked down and yelled with a loud voice, fffffffffffffffff "FUCK HE'S DEAD"