Fuck - 78 jokes
49 sex jokesProposal
A husband pinches his wifes
arse and says: "Do you know if you firm this up you could get rid of your girdle?"
The wife annoyed, decided to bite her tongue and say nothing.
Later that night in bed, the husband squeezed her tits
and said: "Do you know, if you firmed these up you could get rid of your bra?"
Absolutely fuming, the wife reached over and grabbed his dick and said: "Well do you know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the milk man and your fucking brother?"
A man is backpacking through Ireland, when he sees a bar, and goes in for a drink. He sees an old man, who breaks the silence.2 Short jokes
"You see this bar? I built this bar with my bare hands, found the finest wood, and planed it just so. But do they call me McGreggor the bar builder? NO!"
"You see that house out the window? I built that with my bare hands, blood, sweat and tears, too. Do they call me McGreggor the house builder? NO!"
"You see that pier on the lake? I built that with my own bare hands, drove the pickings against the tide and the sand, plank by plank, but do they call me McGreggor the pier builder? NO!"
The old man looks around to make sure no one is listening, and then leans in to the younger man.
"But you fuck one goat!!!!" ~ McGreggor the.....
12 Chinese jokes
family of 5, named Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu decided to immigrate to the United States.
In order to get a visa, they had to adapt their names
to American standards.
Chu became Chuck.
Bu became Buck.
Hu became Huck.
Su and Fu decided to stay in China!
38 sex jokes
Costa: "Did you ever fuck your girlfriend in the other hole?"
Spiros: "You are fuckin mad. I don’t want to make her pregnant
28 sex jokesNext page Jokes
A lady in labour
is shouting the usual stuff: "Get this out of me!", "Give me the drugs!",... She turns to her boyfriend and says: "You did this to me you bastard!"
He replies casually: "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse
but you said 'Fuck Off! It'll be too painful!' Not laughing now are we!?"