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There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.

He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.

The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."

The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.

His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."

The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.

His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"

51     preacher jokes


The husband says to wife: "My Olympic condoms have arrived. Think I will wear gold tonight."

The wife says: "Why don't you wear silver and cum fuckin second for a change?"

49     sex jokes


A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn't tell them.

His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner dad?"

"You'll see", he replies.

They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating.

"Ok", says her dad, "Here's a hint. It's what your mother sometimes calls me."

His daughter screams ... "Don't eat it, Jimmy! ... It's a fucking asshole ..."

46     asshole jokes


What are the 5 different sizes of a penis?

1. Small.
2. Medium.
3. Large.
4. Oh my God!
5. Holy Fuck! Does that come in white?

16     penis jokes


Teacher: "Johnny why is your cat at school today?"

John (crying): "I heard the postman tell my mummy when the kid goes to school I'm going to eat your fuckin pussy!"

40     cat jokes






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