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How are men like noodles?

They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

8     man jokes


Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish.

"The chicken sounds good, I'll have that," Hillary says.
The waiter nods: "And the vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, HE'll have the fish." Hillary replies.

9     restaurant jokes


The tensions of life were threatening to get a strangle hold on Bill, and after he'd finished a good dinner, he relaxed mindlessly in a soft chair next to the stereo, with a stiff drink in his hand. His wife knew nothing of his nervous state, and she climbed onto his lap with the thought of trying to wheedle a fur coat out of him, and snuggled and murmured and fondled.

"Good heavens, Ethel," he exploded, "get off of me! I get enough of this at the office."

17     sex jokes


What did one lab rat say to the other?

I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack.

15     rat jokes


Yo momma is so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.

12     yo momma jokes






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