A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?"27 Teacher Jokes
The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?" The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!"
The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?"
The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone."
To which the little boy replies, "Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!"
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One.21 Clinton JokesProposal
Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy".
Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy."
They said that when a black man becomes president, pigs will fly.6 Short jokes
Exactly 100 days after Barack Obama became president swine flu.
A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: "Hey, where am I?". The solitary office worker replies: "You're in an airplane.". The pilot immediately executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the airport's runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers ask the pilot how he did it. "Elementary," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, I knew that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is three minutes away on a course of 87 degrees."21 Microsoft Jokes
A cowboy was riding accross the plain when he heard shouting from a nearby house. So he went over to investigate and after searching the house, found a young maiden lying naked in bed, with her four limbs tied to the bed corners.18 Cowboy JokesNext page JokesFly Sayings
"Oh thank god" she cried: "you have got to help me, two men came by and killed my husband then took it in turn to ravish me before stealing all our money, help me please!"
The cowboy thought for a second, then as he unzipped his fly and took down his trousers he said: "Maam, this just aint your lucky day!"