8 jokes about flight attendants
10 blonde jokes
An airline captain
was helping a new blonde
flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot
was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess
was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her.
She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!"
"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked. "Why not?"
She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
13 kangaroo jokes
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing
"We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces
us to the terminal."
3 pilot jokes
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.
After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger
asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine
," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot!"
9 cockpit jokes
As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight
attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell and crew take you safely to your destination."
Joe sitting in the 8th row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right - is the captain a woman
? I think I better have scotch
When the attendants came by with drink cart, he said, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"
"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female
"My God," said Joe, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit
"That's another thing," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the cockpit."
11 superman jokesNext page Jokes
Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant approached Muhammad Ali and asked that he fasten his seat belt.
don't need no seat belt," Ali growled.
"Well, Superman," the stewardess replied, "don't need no airplane