A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a home for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."10 Man Jokes
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"13 Golf Jokes
"Yes," the golfer responded.
"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?" the cop asked.
"Yes, I did. How did you know?" the golfer asked.
"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"
The golfer thought it over carefully and responded, "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
Boss: "Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of downsizing. Knock! Knock!"10 Boss Jokes
Employee: "Who's there?"
Boss: "Not you anymore!"
"Mommy, Mommy! Daddy fell in the campfire!"1 Mommy Mommy Jokes
"Shut up and get the barbecue sauce!"
My mother-in-law asked me: "If you hate me so much, why is my photo on the chimney?"0 Mother-In-Law Jokes JokesFire Sayings
I told her, "So as to keep the kids away from the fire."