A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning.18 Woman Jokes
Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. Just then, his wife "sleepily" sat up and said, "Honey, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."
"Certainly, honey," he said. Feeling his way across the dark room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store. As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the pharmacist, "I know you - aren't you a policeman? Officer Fenwick, right?"
"Yeah, sure. So?" said the officer.
"Well, what the heck are you doing all dressed up like the Fire Chief?"
An attractive lady from Seattle was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. A local on horseback came along and offered her a ride to the nearest town.17 Sex JokesProposal
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was pretty uneventful except that every few minutes the guy would let out a "Whoop" so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final "Yahoo" and rode off.
"Hey, what did you do to get him so fired up?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing," shrugged the woman, I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.
"Lady," the attendant said, "that guy was riding bareback ..."
Two women on the way back from a night out stop in a graveyard for a piss. One wipes her fanny with her knickers and the other uses a wreath.5 Short jokes
Their husbands were in the pub the next day and the first man says: "I'd better watch my wife, she came home last night with no knickers!"
The other man says: "That's fuck all, mine had a card wedged up her arse saying: we'll never forget you, from all the boys at the fire station."
The Fire Brigade were trying to rescue an Irishman from the 10th floor of a burning building.16 Irish Jokes
Fireman shouts: "Jump and we'll catch you in this blanket!"
Irishman replies: "Fuck off, I don't trust you, lay it on the floor!"
The telephone rings in the hotel lobby. The receptionist picks it.4 Receptionists JokesNext page JokesFire Sayings
Caller, "Tou ti tou roum tou."
The receptionist answers, "Ta ta ta tou tou tou!" and hangs the phone.
The next day she is fired by the manager because the caller was asking her on phone to send 2 tea to room 2!