38 jokes about fires
's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The firefighter
giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is?"
Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.
Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!"
and a physicist
were asked the following question: Suppose you walked by a burning house and saw a hydrant
and a hose
not connected to the hydrant. What would you do?
P: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water
, and put out the fire.
M: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water, and put out the fire.
Then they were asked this question: Suppose you walked by a house and saw a hose connected to a hydrant. What would you do?
P: I would keep walking, as there is no problem to solve.
M: I would disconnect the hose from the hydrant and set the house on fire, reducing the problem to a previously solved form.
at the pub
went up to the bartender
and asked, "Have you been fooling around with the waitress
"Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender.
The boss replied, "Good, then you fire her!"
We all know that a viola
is better than a violin
because it burns
longer. But why does it burn longer?
It's usually still in the case.
Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her cat in her arms.4
"Hey, lady", yells Larry, "Throw me the cat!"
"No," she cries, "It's too far!"
"I play football. I can catch him!"
The smoke is pouring from the windows. The woman kisses her cat goodbye and tosses it down to the street.
Larry keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurtling down toward him. The feline bounces off an awning and he runs into the street to catch it. He jumps six feet into the air and makes a spectacular one-handed catch. The crowd that has gathered to watch the fire breaks into cheers.
Larry does a little dance, lifts the cat above his head, wiggles his knees back and forth, then spikes the cat into the pavement.