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Fire jokes

38 jokes about fires


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Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime.
Give a man a fire, he's warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, he's warm for the rest of his life.

24    

man,calling

Proposal

Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her cat in her arms.

"Hey, lady", yells Larry, "Throw me the cat!"

"No," she cries, "It's too far!"

"I play football. I can catch him!"

The smoke is pouring from the windows. The woman kisses her cat goodbye and tosses it down to the street.

Larry keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurtling down toward him. The feline bounces off an awning and he runs into the street to catch it. He jumps six feet into the air and makes a spectacular one-handed catch. The crowd that has gathered to watch the fire breaks into cheers.

Larry does a little dance, lifts the cat above his head, wiggles his knees back and forth, then spikes the cat into the pavement.

0    


A house, inhabited by a Greek on ground level, an Italian on first floor and a German on second, got on fire. Who survived?

The German. He was out practicing marching.

17    


How do you make a cat go 'woof'?

Soak it in petrol and set it on fire.

29    

cat

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

To stamp out fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?

To stamp out burning ducks.

7    

elephant



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