Fire jokes

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime.
Give a man a fire, he's warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, he's warm for the rest of his life.

A house, inhabited by a Greek on ground level, an Italian on first floor and a German on second, got on fire. Who survived?

The German. He was out practicing marching.

How do you make a cat go 'woof'?

Soak it in petrol and set it on fire.

A Kentuckian came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"

"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"

"Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?"

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

To stamp out fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?

To stamp out burning ducks.