Funny · Short · New · Top Proposal
A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable fidelity practices when suddenly, the woman reaches over and slices off the mans penis and angrily tosses it out the window of the car.3 Proposal
Driving behind the car is a pickup truck with a man and his 10 year old daughter chatting away beside him. All of the sudden, the penis smacks the pickup in the windshield and flies off.
Surprised, the daughter asks her daddy, "Daddy what in the heck was that?!?"
Not wanting to expose his 10 year old daughter to sex at such a tender age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey."
The daughter gets a confused look on her face, and after a minute, she says. "Sure had a big dick."
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"3
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
A young lawyer
who had taken over his father's practice rushed home totally elated.
, listen, you aren't going to believe this," he said to his father. "I've finally settled that old Whitmore suit."
"Settled it!" bellowed his father. "You bumbling idiot
! We've been living off of that money
for over five years now!"
A family of three are in a hot air balloon. It's a mom, dad, and a toddler. The balloon catches fire and the mom says, "We need to get out of here!"3 Proposal
The dad picks up the two parachutes and straps one on himself and one on his wife.
"What about the baby?" Asks the mom.
"We'll have to leave him here." The dad replies, and he grabs the mom's hand, and jumps out.
The two landed safely, right outside of a small town. They went into a restaraunt, as they were hungry. The waitress says, "I think there's someone here waiting for you, you fit the description."
The couple follow the waitress to a table where their child is sitting!
"How did you get here? We thought you died!" Exclaimed the father.
The toddler said, "Me no stupid, me no dumb, me jump onto Daddy's bum! Daddy goes 'boom', and I go zoom, and that's how I got here so soon."
The mom is shocked. "I told you not to eat those beans for dinner last night!"
Son: "I can't go to school today."2
Father: "Why not?"
Son: "I don't feel well."
Teacher: "Where don't you feel well?"
Son: "In school!"