Funny · Short · New · Top Proposal
A family of three are in a hot air balloon. It's a mom, dad, and a toddler. The balloon catches fire and the mom says, "We need to get out of here!"3 Proposal
The dad picks up the two parachutes and straps one on himself and one on his wife.
"What about the baby?" Asks the mom.
"We'll have to leave him here." The dad replies, and he grabs the mom's hand, and jumps out.
The two landed safely, right outside of a small town. They went into a restaraunt, as they were hungry. The waitress says, "I think there's someone here waiting for you, you fit the description."
The couple follow the waitress to a table where their child is sitting!
"How did you get here? We thought you died!" Exclaimed the father.
The toddler said, "Me no stupid, me no dumb, me jump onto Daddy's bum! Daddy goes 'boom', and I go zoom, and that's how I got here so soon."
The mom is shocked. "I told you not to eat those beans for dinner last night!"
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"3
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
A young lawyer
who had taken over his father's practice rushed home totally elated.
, listen, you aren't going to believe this," he said to his father. "I've finally settled that old Whitmore suit."
"Settled it!" bellowed his father. "You bumbling idiot
! We've been living off of that money
for over five years now!"
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and says: "Hello!"2 Proposal
He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says,: "Do you Know me?"
To which she replies: "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says: "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that got me so excited I had to lay you right there on the pool table with all my buddies spraying whip cream on us?"
She looks into his eyes and calmly says: "No, actually I'm your son's maths teacher!"
Son: "I can't go to school today."2
Father: "Why not?"
Son: "I don't feel well."
Teacher: "Where don't you feel well?"
Son: "In school!"