Pupil (on phone): "My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today."0 Pupil Jokes
School Secretary: "Who is this?"
Pupil: "This is my father speaking!"
A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest.36 Priest Jokes
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During world war II, I hid a refugee in my attic."
"Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."'
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
A boy in bath with his mum asks: "What's that hairy thing?58 Sex Jokes
Mum says:"That's my sponge.
The says: "Oh yeah, babysitters got one too. I have seen her washing Dads face with it."
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.36 Jesus Jokes
Susie said, "He was born in a manger."
Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple."
Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it."
Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?"
"From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"
Little Johnny wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he surprised the teacher with an announcement. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!"38 Spanking JokesNext page Jokes