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The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.

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Yo momma is so fat when she steps on a scale it says "Whoa, whoa, one at a time please!"

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Yo momma is so fat, she uses a mattress as a tampon.

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A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment ..."

The husband replies: "Your eyesight's damn perfect."

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Yo momma is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

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