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What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat?

Divorce him.

19    

man,firecracker

Yo momma is so fat. She doesn't have a waistline - she has a landscape.

11    


car
A husband buys his wife a car for Christmas ...

"I don't like it" she says, "I want some what that goes from 0-140 in 3 seconds."

So he comes back with a set of bathroom scales and says "stand on that you fat fucker!"

74    


Yo momma is so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.

12    


Yo momma is so fat. She has to iron her pants on the driveway.

5    


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