Farting - 17 jokes
6 scuba diving jokes
What's the first rule
of scuba diving?
Don't fart in your wetsuit
5 pssing jokes
Why do women fart after they take a piss?
They can't shake it, so they blow
10 fart jokes
A guy finally gets a date with the girl of his dreams. She tells him that before they can go out, he has to come over and have dinner with her family. Well the guy isn't too fond of the idea but the woman is too gorgeous to refuse.
The rest of the day the guy worries and frets. He gets so worried that he starts to build up a lot of gas
. But he makes it to her house and is invited inside. The dinner was great and afterwards the young woman's father
starts to read the paper. The guy's gas has built to a level that his bowels cannot contain anymore so he decides to let a little fart
The father rolls down his paper at the sound and says, "Spot ..."
The guy looks around confused by this comment and spies a old sheepdog behind his chair. Great the old man must think the dog
is doing it! So he decides to let a bigger fart go.
The father takes off his glasses and rolls down his paper. "Spot!" he says in an annoyed tone.
The guy feels much better and decides to let one more fart go to relieve all the gas.
The father rips his glasses off and throws the paper to the floor. "Spot you deaf bag of fur ... get away from him before he shits all over you!"
14 dinner jokes
A working-class man who has been going steady with his upper class girlfriend for about a month is asked to have dinner
with the girlfriends parents. They live in this huge mansion house in the country with servents and butlers etc, and everything is very very posh. Before dinner, he and his girlfriends parents are sitting in the drawing room, indulging in a bit of idle lighthearted hat before dinner, and everyone is laughing at his jokes and he is rather pleased with himself.
So, the time comes for dinner, and they are all sitting around this huge dinner table enjoying a 9-course banquet. But about two-thirds through the meal the guy has *really* got to fart. He asks to be excused to go to the bathroom, and asks for instructions on how to get there, and they give him a load of directions, and by the time he has spent around 5 minutes walking around corridors he is busting for a fart. He spots a window in the hallway he is in, and a split second thought crosses his mind. He runs over to the window, opens it, pokes his butt through the hole and lets out a massive earth rumbling wiffy fart. He closes the window and makes his way back to the dinner table rather pleased with his little idea (not to mention his farting prowess).
When he returns, the three others are eating in silence. He slips into his seat opposite his girlfriend, leans over and says "This is all going rather well, isn't it?"
Turning to him with a stern face his girlfriend uttered, "Everything was going fine, until you farted through the serving hatch!"
An Avon lady was along in an elevator when she suddenly had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with her deodoriser.6 smelling jokesNext page Jokesfarting sayings
Two floors later a gentleman got onto the elevator. He began to sniff.
The Avon lady asked, "Do you smell something?"
"Why, yes, I do," he replied.
"What does it smell like?"
"Hmmm, I'm not sure, but it kind of smells like someone shit in a pine tree."