A guy brings his dog into the vet and says, "Could you please cut my dog's tail off?"4 Mother-In-Law Jokes
The vet examines the tail and says, "There is nothing wrong. Why would you want this done?"
The man replies, "My mother-in-law is coming to visit, and I don't want anything in the house to make her think that she is welcome!"
A lawyer cross-examined the adversary's main witness. "You claim to have stopped by Mrs. Edwards' house just after breakfast. Will you tell the jury what she said?"11 Lawyer Jokes
"Objection, your honor," shouted the other lawyer.
There then followed a long argument between the lawyers as to whether the question was proper. Finally, after 45 minutes, the judge allowed it.
"So," the first lawyer continued, "Please answer the question: What did Mrs. Edwards say when you went to her house after breakfast on December 3rd?"
"Nothing," said the witness. "No one was home."
Teacher: "The word politics - can you give me an example of how to use it?"5 Pupil Jokes Jokes
Pupil: "My parrot swallowed a watch and now Polly ticks!"