12 jokes about erections
43 Snow White jokes
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
are roaming in the forest when they come across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decides to take a bath. So she tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is taking a bath in the lake. The Dwarfs protest vehemently because they want to take a bath too.
Snow White relents and says "When I get into the water and you hear the splash, you can turn around." Snow White undresses and as she is about to jump into the water, at that very moment, she is startled by a frog who jumps into the water before she can. The moment the Dwarfs hear the SPLASH, they turn around and see Snow White standing NAKED
Now, given that this incident is an idea for a TV ad, what product is being advertised?
That's easy ... 7 Up!
42 man jokes
Why is a man
like a snowstorm
Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
51 penis jokes
walked into the classroom
to find the word "penis
" chalked in small letters on the board. She was a bit embarrassed, so she didn't say anything, but rubbed it out and went on with the class.
But the next day when she came in, she found the same thing again - "penis", this time written slightly larger. So she rubbed it out again, and went on with the lesson.
Again next day, in larger letters, there was the word "penis" again. With a red face she rubbed it out and went on with the lesson.
Well, this went on for a whole week, every day the word penis getting bigger
Finally, on Friday she went into the classroom to find chalked up: "See, the harder you rub it, the bigger it gets!"
44 sex jokes
was having problems with premature ejaculation
so he decided to go to the doctor
. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem ...
In response the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try startling yourself". That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol
. All excited to try this suggestion out he runs home to his wife.
At home his wife is in bed, naked and waiting on her husband. As the two begin, they find themselves in the '69' position. The man, moments later, feels the sudden urge to come and fires the starter pistol.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?". The man answered, "Not that well ... when I fired the pistol my wife shit
on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"
28 sex jokesNext page Jokes
Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning
as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet."
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating
for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. And we know what that meant. Their first night there she undresses, as he does. There she stood, nude, except for a pair of black
. He in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks, "Why the black panties?" She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."
He knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She standing there with the black panties on and he in his birthday suit; except that he has an erection on which he has a black condom
. She looks at him and asks, "What's with this ... a black condom?" He replies, "I want to offer my condolences