6 jokes about elections
"Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "40 fairy tale jokes
"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I am elected.'"
7 Florida jokes
Why are all the unemployed
in Palm Beach County, Florida
sitting on the dock
An elections official said he needed help to count votes
, and they all thought he said he needed help to count boats
18 Howard Dean jokes
Howard Dean's wife
held a press conference today where she announced that until the election is over she will shave off all her pubic hair and sit on stage with husband Howard, and wearing no panties
Astounded reporters asked what the message was, to which she replied "Read my lips. No more Bush
13 Winston Churchill jokes
who was known as Churchill
's main rival in parliament
was giving a speech
. Churchill, with his usual enthusiasm for his rival, dozed off while the lady was speaking. She stopped her speech and awoke Sir Winston by yelling, "Mr. Churchill, must you sleep
while I talk?" Churchill sleepily replied, "No, ma'am. I do so purely by choice."
10 condom jokesNext page Jokes
A man walked into a bar
after just being dumped. The person serving at the time was a woman. She kept on giving him free drinks the whole night. When the bar had closed she went up to him and asked if he wanted to go upstairs for a quicky. He of course said yes and they went upstairs.
When they got there the women asked if he had any protection. He didn't have any and answered no. So she told him there was a chemist across the road and gave him $ 1.
When he got to the chemist there were a selection of condoms
to choose from:
There was a tramp one for 50 p.
There was an apple
flavoured one for $ 1.
And there was a metal one for $ 1.50.
As he only had one pound the man bought the apple flavoured one.
During the the night of fun the condom slipped and the lady got pregnant
. The couple married and raised a son.
When he was 5 years old, he went up to his dad and cried: "Daddy why do I have green arms? This is not fair."
To this the dad replied: "I would count yourself lucky my son. If I would have had an extra 50 p you would have been Robo-Cop"