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Ear jokes

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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

38     → Joke


A passenger taps a taxi drivers on his shoulder. The driver shits himself with shock, swerves nearly hitting a bus and stops inches from a shop window.

"Fuck-me, your jumpy aren't yer, I only tapped your shoulder" says the passenger.

"Sorry," says the cabby, "It's my first day. I've been driving a Hearse for 20 years."

52     → Joke


The husband says to wife: "My Olympic condoms have arrived. Think I will wear gold tonight."

The wife says: "Why don't you wear silver and cum fuckin second for a change?"

53     → Joke


What do you do with 365 used condoms?

Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

54     → Joke


Proposal

A man walks in on a ghost masturbating. The ghost shoots his, "ectoplasm" at the man from the shock. The man screams. The ghost then says before disappearing, "guess what, I died of AIDS!!"

4     → Joke



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