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A Kentucky State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-75. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"

The driver says, "Bout what?"

27     ID jokes


Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Kentucky State Lottery?

The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

27     lottery jokes


A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet. I don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking. Why can't you?"

The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a prescription, and handed it to her and said, "There you are. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put down."

23     doctor jokes


A very shy guy goes into a nightclub and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "Two-hundred dollars? What do you mean $200?!

21     nightclub jokes


The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

11     stupidity jokes






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