A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "LOW BRIDGE AHEAD". Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.22 Bridge Jokes
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got your truck stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
One day, the Pope is visiting America and driving around Washington in his limo when he gets an idea.9 Pope Jokes
"Driver? Can I drive for a while?"
"Sure," says the driver. How can you say no to the Pope?
So the Pope takes the wheel and starts driving like a maniac all around Washington - dodging in and out of traffic, going eighty, cutting people off. Soon, a cop pulls him over. But when the Pope rolls down the window, the cop stops dead in his tracks, and goes back to the car.
"We got somebody really important here," he says to his partner.
"Who is it? Is it a senator?"
"No. More important."
"No. More important."
"An ambassador? Who?"
"I don't know. But the Pope is his driver."
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES - $50.00."11 Prostitute Jokes
A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES."
One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?"
"Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion."
The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.
The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER - $50.00."
An attractive lady from Seattle was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. A local on horseback came along and offered her a ride to the nearest town.17 Sex Jokes
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was pretty uneventful except that every few minutes the guy would let out a "Whoop" so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final "Yahoo" and rode off.
"Hey, what did you do to get him so fired up?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing," shrugged the woman, I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.
"Lady," the attendant said, "that guy was riding bareback ..."
Why are men so bad at sex and driving?2 Short jokes
Because the bastards pull out with no thought of who else might be coming!